One Day I Will Be DoneThere is a never-ending supply of tears in my eyesI will never run outBut I cannot guarantee I will always have enough for you.
disappearI taught her how to grow a backbone—How to fight the battles that mattered mostHow to say no and goodbye—I taught her how to leave without being noticed—How to fade away day by dayHow to merely cease—&& she used this knowledge against me.
My Sweet Love-A body of water dares to separate usIs unafraid to stand between usI deem you, dear Atlantic Ocean, a fool for trying to keep us apart.
rumex acetosaHer roots run far and-Deep underneath our feetHer leaves provide extra flavor for our greedy tongues-And give our pain relief But beware if you are to take too much-Pain would be the least of your worries…
voicesLast night I dreamtThat I had buttons for eyesAnd they told me I couldn’t cry no more.
Darkness to LastI have trouble swallowing the words youAll too eagerly whisper into my earsSo easily are they saidI can’t help but wonder if this- if us- is a script; one that you have memorizedOne that you have collaborated with others onOne that I was kept in the dark aboutWhere I am merely the clueless actress who is wondering about your lines.
Let Me Be ThereI’m not always strongSometimes I’m vulnerable around those I trustSometimes I allow myself to cry, allow myself to break- sometimes I need toBut when you need a break, and when you need to take off your armor to nurse your wounds-Lean on me and I’ll be strong enough for the both of us.
between the two of usi do notwant tolove youbecausewe bothknewlong agoyou couldneverlove metoo.
You Won't Be My Last Stari. The stars remind me of you- and now my body tenses up at the thought of the name beginning with a ‘W’ and ending with a ‘Y’. After those things you said to me it really hurts me to look back up at the night sky but I promised myself that I wouldn’t let things that make me happy be ruined by you.ii. And so while letting my cat in the other night it was clear for once in- wait I have to count how many times the night was cloudy and storming and I couldn’t see what I loved so dearly- roughly fifteen days. And so I allowed- maybe I forced- myself to look up at the stars and sigh happily at the beauty.iii. You said you’d get me a tripod for Christmas because whenever you’d call me on the phone it would be at stupid hours of the night when we both should have been sleeping, but instead we were both outside in the ridiculous cold looking up at what we couldn’t reach. I don’t know why I believed you- that you’d get me a
My Love for YouWhen you are sad, I will wipe your tearsWhen you are scared, I will be there to care.When you feel like crying, I will be your shoulder to cry on.When you need the love, I will share my heart with you.For you I care, my whole life through.From the darkest moments, to the brighest of days.For you I will love, till the day I am no longer here.Where we are far apart, my love will guide you the way.I will treat you right, like you are the King in my life.For you are the one, that makes everything alright.You are the dreams, that bring me joy in the night.You are the sunlight, that brings happiness in the day.When you are alone, my voice will be with you.When you are afraid, I will care for you with love.When you have nobody, I will be your somebody.When you are sleeping, I will be in every dream with you.I will guide you, throughout our whole life.I will help you stand tall, when you feel like falling down.For you are always the one, that I have loved from the start.You
Goodnight MoonThe battered sky bloomsas the dark teabag stainunder her weary eyes.Like the coupletstrung around her necklaceand embeddedwith teeth marks -jewels impressed intothe vast expansive skyof her laden shoulderbones.The bruise darkensand the stars seem impossible.Too far awayand smiling a long dead smile.But somewhere a pomegranate lip,swollen with the disdainthat he made her swallow -somewhere, those lipsfind the courage to sayGoodnight.
HumanI don't know how to tell you this.You're going to think ill of me.Don't deny, I know it's true.But yet I don't feel like me.When I'm around you.I don't feel like it's homebecause there's a fear of growing upto be a failure when all secretsare either drained to a hollow bottleor left as a fermented parasite.There's so much I feel you're missing,So much you don't know.I wish you knew,Without me having to tell you....I'm only human. There'sa side of me that I fear willconsume me if I don't letit free. But I could feign a smile now,just to fit in, at least for a bit.Pretend half of me doesn't exist.When I wish you could see...And not be terrified.Or forget I'm me.I could pretend that I'msomeone else, and I'dwish against the stars for itto be granted. But the constellationshaven't been very dependable of late.And I can't denySuch a part of me.It's too huge,Too much of me.I don't know how...To keep it from you...I've never known t
Broken heart, hidden behind a smileShe's desperateTorn apartBrokenBy her loved oneHis heartBelongs to someone elseSomeone beautifulSomeone worth itSomeone perfectShe acts like it's OKBut she's devastatedShe feels uglyWorthlessFlawedAnd he has no ideaAbout how deeplyShe loves him...
If God is love why is there suffering in the worldBelievers and non-believers have asked this same question.It’s like a way to blame God for all that is happening all around the world. To have an excuse to not believe, or to disobey.I recently read someone’s conversation in the internet about this topic and that inspired me to write this.If you want to mix God’s love and suffering. First you have to ask yourself “why is there suffering?”Why is there suffering in the world?Because sin ruined a perfect creation.Sin is the transgression of the law (1 John 3:4). When we break God’s law, we turn our backs to Him. When Adam and Eve sinned they threw away their perfection and embraced imperfection. Our relationship with the creator was damaged; and we were separated from Him (Isaiah 59:2).The law reflects the character of God; therefore if you act against the law you act against God Himself.The law of God is1: eternal, good, just, righteous, pure, perfect, truth, peace, honorable,
What happens when we dieWhat happens when we die?To understand what happens when we die, we have to understand what the soul is.And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. ~ Genesis 2:7The scriptures tell us that the soul is not something we have inside our bodies. The soul is the person itself. When God created Adam, He didn't give Adam a soul. Adam became a living soul.We are a soul. That's why we read that souls are born (Genesis 46:18), souls eat (Leviticus 7:20) souls sin (Leviticus 5:17, James 4:4). Souls learn (Proverbs 19:2). Souls can get sick (psalm 41:4) Souls can die (Job 33:22) Souls can be touched and killed (Joshua 11:11, 1 kings 15:29) souls can be buried (psalms 35:7, Jeremiah 18:20). We don't have souls, we are souls.We (souls) are not immortal or eternal.Something eternal is something without beginning or end; lasting forever; always existing. Therefore we (souls)
PurposedTireless a secret that I was meant to digress.Hollowed and moving a fortitude I was made to lose.Rendered by life to give light to a dark world,As I love her I’m stuck hiding even as I count words exposed.Still moving no more decaying,Seeing blood and years mixing the umbilical fears.I plead to forget the memories only to consciously forgive.The breaking, the pressure under,To see a calm likeness to my dreaming preference.Repay the highest priest with what’s due,This new life too much to bear as I continually shatter.Like window panes of open intimacy,Blended then forged into idolatry lost wax casting.Knowing I am free yet wondering why I can’t turn my back,Resolving to look for the key other half.The world’s betrayal of a time and place in a boy’s confidence.I stumble, the temperature drops,I leave the body of what was fiction,Though I will never lose the memories of a time when I wanted justice but instead accepted victimhood as unreali
HeartbeatHow lonely my heartseems to have grown,forever searching for itsother half that remains unknown.It beats and pausesas if listening for its mate,growing heavy and lonelyis it worth the wait?Can you die of alonely heart unfulfilled?Friends lend an ear buttheir hearts are not a matchto mine and it beats still.I feel like giving upat times and just lockingmy heart away,or perhaps drowningmy heart in other people's pain.Is it so much a pauseor perhaps it's a beatthen a break?Really please tell mejust how much lonelinessone heart can take?
The Confines of PixelsSometimes I feel my existence lies within the confines of pixels. That my existence within reality has never left an impression on anyone. That all of my earlier experiences have been very plain, pitiful, and small. Not entirely meaningless, but lacking the potency I wanted to believe was there.When I go to describe my adolescence to someone, I am met with this wall of nothingness. Nothing to say. Nothing to feel. Because none of the moments that should have manifested ever did. There was only a hollow feeling. A sensation so lacking in significance or intricacy that even now, I find it difficult to accept.There was always a disconnect with the people closest to me. With my family. With my peers. I never really experienced anything other than disappointment and loneliness, despite feeling I often reached out to others. I never felt accepted. I never felt appreciated. I was never admired, or sought after.. and in those fleeting moments that I was, it was never by someone I wanted. I h
ScarsI am defined by scars beneath the fleshDespite my struggles there is no releaseI am controlled by a grasp superior to that of the bodyI am free of tethers, of ropes, and of chainsDespite the distance of I have travelled, I see you everywhere, in everythingThere is no weight upon my shoulders but a heaviness I cannot shakeI am troubled with burdens past my yearsWhile my skin shines of youth, my heart is plagued with darknessI have been placed in a world of innocence in which I no longer belongWhat you have taken has worth beyond a priceMy eyes are no longer bright, my heart no longer light, and my hands no longer cleanYou are haunting me with a promise I cannot keep
Foolish...You can't undothe damage done-You can't relivethose lonely years-You can't resuscitatesomeone who haslong ago since drowned...And you cannot menda broken heartwith the useof a simple "I'm sorry."
CatatoniaShe scrawls life line tallies on her wrists in scarsto mark each year passedand haunts bars looking for the love of strangers.she finds malt whiskey and vermouth; strange mouths to kissshe tips them back the way a lover might tip her chinny chinchinShe whispers slurs and looks into the abyss of gin.He inhales death with the smoky kisses of cigarettesinjects life paraphrasing echoes of love with hypodermics to keepthe hypothermia of loneliness backbut it creeps and creepsa slow paralysisunder the windowsill, rain falling bleak on the pane to dripdripinto her veinssoft dark over the threshold of the doorway to her soulwriting ink into her shadow, there -melting behind the lidded stupor stare of dreamless mindsit stirs and wakes,invisible monsters sleeping in her chestthey bare their teeth and bleedpain naked in the light of morningugly and beautiful in the honesty of strangers unable to turnawayfrom a car crash in the dusk.walking in darknesssearching for touch.
As I RemainThe circles under my eyes grow darker and deeper as I breatheMy body grows weaker as I eat and sleepI grow worse as I try to improveMy bones ache a full- yet- horribly hollow ache as I remain.